high priestesses of the first order

it's funny how when you're little they tell you that you won't have your friends forever.  throughout my entire childhood and high school experience, I had the very best friends in the whole wide world. & I couldn't believe it when I woke up one day and actually realized that my parents were right.  I won't have my best friends forever.  They're both married, happily, and we're all doing our own things now.  but I treasure the years we had.  because that shit was the best.

sure we fought, and got annoyed with each other, and occasionally talked a whole lotta crap, but we loved each other.  & even though we don't talk very frequently anymore, I think we always will.

Emily and I first became frenemies the summer before 3rd grade.  & there began a saga of love, laughter, pranks, jokes, hatred, backbiting, rescuing and friendship that I wouldn't trade for the world. 

(I literally just had to excuse myself from the lobby, because it's made of marble and my laughter echoed so loudly when I detonated into giggles because I pictured Emily spying her big crush Tanner Lamb all the way down C-Hall, and then flip around all awkward, the way only Emily can, and run the opposite direction, Napolean Dynamite stylie.  Like really, my co-workers think I'm crazy, sitting all by myself, laughing myself to tears at my desk)

anyway..

I met Regan when she moved in across the street from Emily.  Emily decided we should be friends with Regan when she gave herself a bloody nose trying to swat a fly.  I think Emily and I had seen Clueless wayyy too many times because we thought we would turn Regan into our summer project.  Who the hell did Emily and I think we were??  despite the many ridiculously odd displays of bitchiness, the friendship I had with these two stands as one of the best adventures I've ever had.

during lunch with Emily last week, we had so much fun reminiscing about, well, how strange we were.  I was under the impression that in high school the three of us were pretty cool.  everybody liked us, and knew who we were.  we weren't the most popular or the hottest, but we were in the friend group of the most popular. even though we thought that they were all completely retarded, for the most part. but still, that has to count for something.

we played sports (well they played plural sports, I played sport) and 66%  of us were pretty damn smart, so we were generally too busy with homework and practice to have raging social lives.  but truthfully, we had everything we needed with each other, so we didn't care to look for anything extra.

we were the High Priestesses of the First Order.  We all held the same rank, however we all knew what the other brought to the club.  Regan and I brought wit, creativity, homework-doing-skills etc. and Emily brought enthusiasm, smelly ankle braces and usually the entertainment.

god we were funny.



HPOTFO Blanket

meet: Emily McLame-Lame, Sobber-Sobber Bad Driver.

Regan McFeo the Cantakerous (something about Lard? or Ogres?)

Rachel McFatso.. well I forgot the rest of my name.  Something about a monstrosity. Oh yes, Rachel McFatso the Hideous Monstrosity

we were all so ridiculously camera shy, I'm not sure if a picture exists of the three of us together. what a shame. especially for the thousands of hours we spent together.

we used to drive 20 miles just to find the perfect spot to do math homework, uncomfortable, in my car, with only the overhead car lights to illuminate our textbooks.

we ate ice cream cookie sandwiches, like, everyday after volleyball practice.  undoing every bit of work we had done. and we knew this, and didn't care a bit.



several years later, the tape gum still sticks



once, we cut out an udder from black construction paper and taped it onto a deer crossing sign.  we were such good kids, we thought that tape would be less of a pain in the ass for whatever poor soul had to cover up spray painted grafiti. turns out, the tape and paper lasted wayyy longer than any paint would have.

I believe The Burn Bowl was misinterpreted by our classmates as some creepy ritual that involved devil worshipping and witch craft.

it was so much better than that.

we would draw pictures of rude boys, girls, objects, throw in non-A+ papers and tests, pictures of ourselves, pictures of other people, mash it all together in an aluminum bowl that I stole from my grandma, light it all on fire and dance around it.

one day, the three of us were parked at The View, Burn Bowl ablaze, and who woulda thunk that the sneak-a-cop police car parked next to us contained, SURPRISE, a police officer. this certain douche-bag cop forced me to put out the fire wearing only my ex-(not-as-serious-a-relationship-as-I-thought-it-was) boyfriends moccasins. after this, we lost a bit of our Burn Bowl enthusiasm.

"officer, our water bottle is empty, is there any way we can just wait for the fire to go out on it's own? it'll be like, 8 minutes, tops"

"no"

"uhm, okay then.." as I panic and look around at Regan and Emily like "HELP!!"  they just stifled their laughter, and we poked at the Burn Bowl with sticks and empty water bottles trying to flip it over. and the cop just sat there, staring.  I still don't know how he kept a straight face for that long.  probably because he hated his life and wished he was as dope as we were.

Regan and I peed one time in red dixie cups, delivered it labeled as "Love Potion" and spied through Emily's front window and just watched our pee sit on the kitchen counter.  not only did we have no point, we thought we were totally inconspicuous, just laying outside on their porch. 

because Emily was always pining for love, and Regan and I always stayed properly hydrated.

I think the three of us liked peeing together more than what is natural for most best friends.

and we'd listen to Taylor Swift and Fat Bottomed Girls and Ja-Ja-Ja-Juicy, driving down the street in Regan's giant blue truck.  Laughing because Emily thought that the rumbling caused by rumble strips was actually the paint, reacting to your tires.  & we'd fake flat tires or running out of gas so we didn't have to go hang out with people we didn't really like.  I miss that blue truck. & peanut butter M&M's.

anyway, I wanted to have this written down somewhere simply for myself, so that I can read through it twice and day and smile, each and every time.